TITLE : Of Coffee, Wine and that Four Letter Word
length : One-Shot ; 4,134 WORDS
pairing/characters : KyuMin, Ninja!SiHae
genre : drama,romance
rating : PG
summary : Love and Sungmin are two words that could never be together, would someone like Kyuhyun entering Sungmin's life change this?
Request by
sneezessmiles , im so sorry if this took forever! this is the only thing that my tiny mind came up with >< (and sorry for d major changes :D - - atleast d necklace is still der?? ><)
and i therefore conclude that i should stick with writing none-sense crack and smut, i fail at this big time ><
and ofcourse thank you sooooo much toailaling1017 for the beta!... atleast it's more "readable" now XD .. Thank u soo much!
“Do you think Siwon would really love what I’m wearing? Isn’t it awkward? What if I look bad in it?” Donghae sputters as he eyes himself in the mirror, his heart becoming more tense as the realization of finally having a date with his long time crush sinks into him.
“Oh yeah I’m sure he’ll definitely back out once he saw you in that.” Sungmin, Donghae’s brother, replies – teasing the younger.
“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend.” Donghae playfully teases back.
“Oh as if. Those boys and girls? Whatever. They are just pains on the ass. I’m living perfectly fine by myself, thank you very much.”
“But Sungmin, seriously, why won’t you find someone whom you could settle with? You shouldn’t just exhaust yourself with managing this resort; you should get a life and enjoy yourself.” Mrs. Lee, Sungmin’s grandmother, asks as she seats by the balcony,enjoying watching her two angels.
“Well I enjoy working at the resort.”
“Sungmin dear, you know that’s not what I meant.”
“Really Halmoni, just because I don’t have a lover doesn’t mean my life would be incomplete.”
“But-“
“Halmoni!”
Sungmin’s grandmother gives a resigned sigh, knowing better than to pursue the issue further. Ever since he was young, Sungmin had already erased all possibilities of love in his life. He grew up witnessing his mother and father engage in constant fights, which eventually led to his father’s departure. He could vividly remember how her mother sobbed every night until that one fateful night when she realized that their father, her husband, had already left them for good. This brought too much pain to his mother’s heart that she ended up killing herself. The frail mind of Sungmin who was just 10 years old at the time had absorbed all of the pain and heartaches brought about by their family’s situation. He learned to despise the thought of love and this stuck with him even as he grew old. He didn’t believe in love, knowing that love was the one responsible for killing his mother. The reason why he and his brother Donghae had to grow up without their parents by their side.
Mrs. Lee knows that her grandsons were thankful that she was there to take care of them until Sungmin was already off age to handle the resort that their family had left them. Yet, she knows that deep inside, there’s still this loneliness and longing for the love only their parents could have had given them. The love they hadn’t had the chance to have.
“Halmoni, are you okay?” Sungmin taps the old woman’s shoulder gently.
Sungmin’s grandmother just smiled, she just knows that there’s still hope, somehow.
*
“Sungmin dear, come here.” Mrs. Lee calls Sungmin, coaxing the young man to sit by her side.
Sungmin obeys and slowly walks towards the old woman.
“I just want to show you something.” Mrs. Lee says as she scrambles over her box, beaming as she finds what she’s looking for. She then shows it to Sungmin, who looks at the item cautiously.
“What is this? A necklace?” Sungmin asks. “Isn’t this for a girl?” He adds as he scrutinizes the pearl pendant.
“It’s a love pearl. They say that if you wish for something with this necklace, it would come true.”
Sungmin hesitantly takes the necklace, eyeing the piece in his hands.
“Stories tell that there was once a couple of people who were brought together by fate. They were so in love, however, it was also fate that pushed them apart. The younger man was so depressed that he neglected his health. He then found this necklace and wished night and day to finally be with the man he loved. The younger man died in the end, but I’m sure he’s already happy wherever he is now, because his wish was finally granted.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Sungmin asks, confused at the sudden randomness.
“I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to lose hope. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world, it might bring you pain and heartaches, but I’m telling you, once you allow yourself to love, you’ll know how worth the pain is for the experience of that wonderful feeling.”
“I don’t know... I can’t…” Sungmin starts, giving the necklace back, but Mrs. Lee hushes him.
“Just give love a chance, and I assure you, you’ll never regret it.” She says as she gently pushes the pearl back into her grandchild’s hand. She didn’t let the younger protest as she abruptly stands up, leaving the younger in his own thoughts.
*
Sungmin stood up after a few minutes, his mind whirling with images from his childhood.
Love
He scoffed. For him, this word is nothing but imaginary. People just bring too much meaning on this certain feeling and deem it as love. They fall too much on this make-shift heaven, only to end up crashing in hell as their sunshine fades away, to be replaced by storms. That’s what love has always been – a pain.
Aside from his parents, he had friends, friends who were so in-love this minute, and crying in pain in the next. It had always been like that, so how can people make him believe that this thing called “love” actually exists?
Sungmin rolls his eyes, thinking why he was even wasting precious time on such meaningless thoughts. So, he stood up to leave the area but as he turns around, he suddenly bumps into a tall man, making the necklace fall from his hand.
*
Only the loud clang of the necklace as it reaches the floor could be heard as time seems to stop as the two figures looks at each other. They could feel the identical beating of their hearts as they stare at each other’s eyes, as if an invisible force is pulling them towards the other.
“Sungmin! Are you okay?!” Donghae comes rushing to his brother immediately after he saw what happened.
Sungmin suddenly wakes up from his reveries when he hears his name, his eyes immediately shooting up when he realizes he is straddling the other man’s body. He hastily stands up, bowing down to apologize.
“No, it’s okay. It’s my fault.” The man replies.
Sungmin blinks, his body shivering at the sweet melody of the other’s voice, his heart thumping in a way he had never felt before.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Donghae asks his brother worriedly.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Sungmin replies as he tries to calm the abnormal flips of his heart.
“This is yours, right?”
“W-what?” Sungmin splutters, looking up at the sound of the other’s voice.
“I mean, this is yours right?” The other man repeated.
“Oh y-yeah.”Sungmin replies sheepishly.
“Here, it’s beautiful. But I’m sure it would be more beautiful when you’re wearing it.”
Sungmin blushes a deep shade of red as the words repeat themselves in his mind.
“T-thank you.” He manages to reply as he reaches out his hand to the other man, stretching out his palms to receive the necklace. As their hands brush together, they could feel a light glowing from their hearts to the other, making them shiver at the strange feeling.
“And-“ The other man was about to say something but it was suddenly interrupted as his phone rings. “I’m sorry, I need to take this.” He adds and gives a sheepish grin as he looks at Sungmin and his phone, as if wanting to say something more. The voice of a famous male group Sungmin could remember his grandmother raving about blasted louder as the man’s phone keeps on ringing. The stranger, not wanting to disturb people, answers the call but immediately hangs up, mouthing something to Sungmin, eliciting a rare smile from his face. “See you around.”
When the other man said that, Sungmin didn’t really think that he’ll see the man evr again. Yes, their resort wasn’t that big, but it wasn’t small either. There’s still a huge percentage of chance that they won’t see each other. Nevertheless, fate had taken its course and they actually found themselves bumping, yet again, with each other. This time, in one of the nearby cafes:“Vitamina”, Sungmin’s favourite, which is inside their resort’s premises.
“Looks like were fated to bump into each other in such random moments, aren’t we?” The other man sheepishly chuckles as he sees the beauty that he is crossing path with yet again.
“Well, there’s no such thing as fate, either it’s just coincidence or both of us are just really careless people who should learn how to focus more so we won’t disturb other people.”
The man’s grin turned into a curious stare, not knowing how to react to the other’s words.
“But don’t you think it’s great that there’s such a thing that could bring two people together in such unexpected times and perhaps, bind the two without them knowing it, right?”
Sungmin snickers at this, amazed at the man’s dazed expression as he states his belief of fate with so much conviction.
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” The young boy looked at Sungmin, confused as to what he meant.
“Those people who let themselves be blinded by love. They’re so in love with the thought of having their own perfect little world where everything revolves around that illusion, but once the mischievous mask of love starts to peel up, showing it’s dark side, they’ll realize that love isn’t that perfect after all, but not before being crushed and killed by their own make-shift heaven called love.”
“Wow, why hold so much hatred over love? Did someone break your heart so badly that you can’t even believe in love anymore?”
“I never had a lover before, and I’m not open to having one.”
“How could you speak so freely about love as if you know it so well, when you haven’t even experienced it yet?”Kyuhyun asks in disbelief.
“I don’t need to experience it to know what it is. I see people around me being fooled by this. I’m not that crazy to actually follow their footsteps.”Sungmin reasons.
“You’re interesting.” The other man chuckles. Sungmin raises an eyebrow at the other man’s sudden reply.
“This makes me hungrier. Since we’re already here, want to eat together? Well I mean, I hope you don’t share the same sentiments you have about love in friendship?”
Sungmin chuckles at this, deeming the other guy as crazy. “Lee Sungmin.” He mutters as he stretches his hand out for a hand-shake but immediately drops it back down when the other man just replies with a huge grin, which he refuses to admit, affects him more than it should. “You’re crazy.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.” The other man, Kyuhyun,smiles as he introduces himself, lifting his hand this time, a huge grin still plastered on his face and Sungmin had to think twice as he felt a jolt on his skin as their hands meet for the hand-shake, afraid of what that spark entails.
But that fear was swiftly pushed to the bin as he finally started to get to know Kyuhyun. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because of the other man’s persistence, or the thing the younger calls “fate” that always brought them together; but Sungmin found himself growing closer to the younger man that he found a day incomplete without having a cup of coffee with him at their favourite spot by the window, sharing their ideas about the world, although sometimes – well most of the time – said ideas opposed each other. Sungmin didn’t really mind. He actually loved debating with the other up to the point that they’d roll into a fit of laughter with their craziness. He loved being with the man, growing up in their secluded town, he never really had the chance to acquaint himself with other people, but with Kyuhyun, everything just seemed to click. Another reason, Sungmin thinks, is their love for wine; he loves their occasional wine-tasting by the bay.
Tonight was one of those nights wherein Sungmin held a glass of wine in his hand as he sits by the sand, his gaze looking past the vast sea, the cool breeze keeping the serene atmosphere and enveloping them in a warm and comforting embrace.
“I just noticed, you’ve been wearing that pearl more lately.” Kyuhyun muttered, breaking the comfortable silence.
“What? Someone told me I look good with it.” Sungmin replied smugly.
“As far as I remember, it’s the necklace that I said was beautiful, not you.” Kyuhyun teased, earning a light kick from the older man, “Bastard!”
“What? Were you actually hoping that I was complimenting you? Oh Sungmin, don’t tell me you’re falling in love with me.”Kyuhyun teased.
“Fuck you, Cho!”Sungmin growled, this time kicking Kyuhyun harder, making sure that it hurt.
“I was just kidding!” Kyuhyun laughed hard. “What? Still haven’t changed your view of love?”
“Love and I are just two words that could never be together.” Sungmin replied, and he thought he saw a glint of disappointment in Kyuhyun’s eyes but he chose to ignore it as he continued to sip from the glass in his hand.
“Oh.”Kyuhyun replied, sadness evident in his voice that it crumpled Sungmin’s heart for reasons he cannot fathom. Yet, deep inside, he knew the reason but refuses to acknowledge it, mostly because of fear. He knows, he could feel it, the gentle look and touches the other gave him were a dead give-away on what the younger keeps inside of him and it scares Sungmin, he doesn’t want to break the younger man’s heart, he was too special, too special.
“You can’t.”
“What?” Kyuhyun asked confusedly, but as Sungmin repeated the words with unshed tears in his eyes, he knew what he completely meant. “I’m sorry, I really like you Kyuhyun, you need to stop this.”
“Then can you tell me how? How can you actually stop loving someone?”Kyuhyun chuckled, looking at the sea as he tried to stop his tears.
“Love is just something that a person creates in their mind; they grow attached to it, thinking it’s love when it’s just merely an emotion hyphened up by their imaginations.”
“Fuck Sungmin, can’t you stop this!?” Kyuhyun shouted, losing all his control as he gently pulled Sungmin to face him. “Do you think I just commanded my heart to feel this? I never told it to skip a beat when I met you! I never told it to beat so fast when I see you smile, laugh, talk...everything you do. It just acts like it! And moreover, I never told it to beat so hard to the point that it already escaped my chest to crawl to you, telling me that I don’t own it anymore, because my heart now belongs to you. So how can I command it when it already serves you as its owner?”Kyuhyun sighed as he looked deeply in Sungmin’s eyes. “I love you…. I’m deeply, madly in love with you Lee Sungmin.“ Kyuhyun whispered, the words flying towards Sungmin’s heart, and he shivered as he felt his heart actually welcoming the words, but the fear suddenly chose that moment to stomp forward and remind people of his existence, making Sungmin bolt up, immediately closing his heart before it fully accepted those feelings.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t.” Sungmin muttered before walking away, and he had to will his feet to continue walking as his steps faltered the moment he heard Kyuhyun break down into tears, the sound of the young man’s heart breaking into pieces overshadowing the thud as his very own heart broke as well.
*
It’s funny how fate seemed to attach their paths together when they weren’t asking for it, yet now that all Sungmin wished for was to see even a glimpse of the young man, hoping, wishing that he’s fine, it looked like fate wanted him to dwell on guilt as he can’t seem to find the man anywhere. Fate’s a bitch indeed! Then Sungmin had to pause, realizing that he just blamed something he doesn’t even believe in. Is it true? Is he really slowly caving in to love?
Sungmin sighed, erasing the thoughts. For now, all he really hoped for was to see Kyuhyun. Goodness! That man had really made him crazy! But still, he can’t help the loud beating of his heart. He just left Kyuhyun last night in such a devastated state and he can’t help but worry whether the young man managed to come home safely last night. Or if he had….Sungmin’s eyes shot-up as images of his childhood comes flashing in his mind that he found himself immediately running towards Kyuhyun’s room. Finding the door unlocked, he sprinted inside, not caring to knock. “Kyuhyun! Cho Kyuhyun!” Sungmin bolted towards the younger’s room but he wasn’t there, his heart starts to crumble with fear, his knees trembling, afraid that what he was thinking was true.
“Sungmin?”
Sungmin immediately turned around as he heard the voice he had been craving to hear all day. And he didn’t even care if he admitted that said voice melts his heart as he ran towards Kyuhyun, engulfing the tall man in a tight hug.
“Fuck, you made me worried! Where were you all day?!”Sungmin punched Kyuhyun who just smiled in response, touched that the other still cares for him.“Wait what’s that?” Sungmin broke the hug as he noticed Kyuhyun’s luggage neatly placed beside Kyuhyun’s bed, and then he looked at Kyuhyun and only noticed that the young man was dressed up, his bag placed above his bed.
“Are you...?”
“My flight is in two and a half hours.”
“Oh.”Sungmin replied, he could feel tiny needles slowly pinching his heart, making his whole body tremble. “So you’re not planning to say goodbye to me? I’m hurt.” Sungmin faked a laugh, but suddenly cut it as he saw Kyuhyun’s serious eyes looking straight at him. Who was he kidding really?
“This is for the better right? This is the only way that I could forget about you.”
Sungmin nodded his head, but he doesn’t know why his heart felt crumpled by the statement. Shouldn’t he be happy? This is what he wants right? Right? He asked himself, and it made his body tremble as the answer seems so bold and big screaming right at his face.
“Well, I’m sorry but I need to head at the airport if I don’t want to miss my flight.” Kyuhyun muttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence crawling to their skin. Sungmin didn’t utter a word so Kyuhyun took this as an answer that he really needed to go, so he picked up his luggage and his bag and was almost out of the door when he heard Sungmin shout his name, a tinge of hope glowing in him as he looked at Sungmin’s orbs which were looking at him, with as much intensity.
“I-“ Sungmin started but his throat seemed to block, words jumbling in his mind that he can’t grasp the right ones to say.
“I-“ Kyuhyun grew tense as he waited for Sungmin’s words, but all of his hopes suddenly died down like he was flying so close to heaven, only for his wings to be cut apart, making him fall way deep down. “Have a safe flight.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he nodded, what was he really expecting? So he headed towards the exit but this time, he turned around to say something before he walked away completely with Sungmin just looking at his retreating figure, and only when the man was completely gone did the words sink into him, making him fall on the ground, his tears that had been wanting to escape earlier, streaming down from his face like a rain shower.
“I’ll never regret falling in love with you. Even if it caused me all this heartaches, it was worth it Min. Because you were worth it … I just hoped that I was as well, to you.”
*
Sungmin smiled as he sees his brother sitting on the sand, face flaming as if ready to kill someone.
“What’s with that face?”
Donghae didn’t answer and just growled instead as he glared towards his front. Sungmin tilted his head to see who was the poor victim for the younger’s rage and he chuckled, sighing as he sat beside his brother.
“What did Siwon do that made him earn such anger from you?” Sungmin asked, referring to Donghae’s lover.
“Tsk just look at him! Who wouldn’t be mad at him!”
Sungmin looked and saw Siwon helping a girl who seemed “unable to stand” after “slipping”, and Siwon being the gentleman that he was, didn’t think twice before helping the girl who seemed to be enjoying the handsome man’s attention.
“Well he’s a lifeguard, it’s his job to help people.”
“Tsk! Can’t he see that those girls are flirting with him!”
“
Well if you can’t stand it, why don’t you just break up with him?” Donghae’s eyes shot up at this and gaped at his brother.
“Yah! I won’t breakup with him just because of that! I know he loves me, I believe in him.”
Sungmin sighed, not understanding how his brother thinks.
“Yes there are some fights, misunderstandings and whatnot, but those are parts of a relationship, hyung. Those hardships make the two of you stronger. Those are what make you realize how precious your love for each other is.” Donghae added and as if emphasizing the statement, Siwon looked at them and then stared at Donghae, giving him a smile, a smile Sungmin was certain was reserved only for his brother. Donghae smiled back at him, they were so at peace as they looked at each other.
“Donghae, what is love?”Sungmin suddenly asked.
“There are a million answers to that question, hyung. But I think it depends on how the person feels it. Just like me with Siwon, love is the feeling of security, the feeling of being so safe when you’re in his arms. The thought that everything would be okay because love is there. You? What do you feel when you think of love?”
“I… I think of early morning coffees with Kyuhyun.” Sungmin chuckled that the first thing that came to mind was him and Kyuhyun at the table by the window; he could still smell the sweet aroma of coffee making his mind relax. “I think of the way he talks, the way he laughs, the way he holds me…” Sungmin trailed off, choking as tears suddenly fell from his eyes as moments with Kyuhyun came flashing through his mind. “I screwed up, didn’t I?” Sungmin asked Donghae, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.
Donghae just hugged the older man who was now breaking down in tears, thinking how stupid he is for letting Kyuhyun go. But all he could do now is cry, laughing at his misery. He always thought that love was stupid because it only gave pain, but funny how he’s experiencing pain now when he didn’t even give a chance for love to blossom. And now, all he wished was another chance for love.
*
“Sungmin hurry up! Donghae’s waiting for us.” Mrs. Lee called her grandchild who was scrambling over his bag.
“I’m coming! Ugh, where is that!?” Sungmin growled as he rummaged through his things. He knew he just put it in here somewhere.
“There you are!” Sungmin sighed in relief, smiling like the sunshine as he eyed the necklace that he was looking for.
He immediately turned around to catchup with his grandmother when he bumped into a tall man.
And as if in de ja vu, he fell on the ground, he could feel the familiar loud beating of his heart like drums in a crazy beat. He slowly tilted his head up to see who he bumped into and his heart seemed to stop as their eyes locked with each other’s. His body trembled at that familiar sensation, making his heart glow.
The other man slowly stood up, offering a hand to Sungmin, who gladly took it.
“Looks like nothing has changed. We’re still two careless people who should learn how to focus more so we won’t disturb others.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he looked at Sungmin with a big smile on his face, making Sungmin’s heart melt.
“No.” Sungmin started, smiling as he grabbed Kyuhyun’s head to place a deep kiss on the younger’s lips, panting as they broke apart for much needed air. The time they spent away from each other made them realize how much the other meant to them. Sungmin smiled at Kyuhyun’s dazed expression before tugging the younger by the collar and bringing their lips together in another sweet kiss, but not before whispering the words he’d never thought he’d ever say. “It’s fate.”
length : One-Shot ; 4,134 WORDS
pairing/characters : KyuMin, Ninja!SiHae
genre : drama,romance
rating : PG
summary : Love and Sungmin are two words that could never be together, would someone like Kyuhyun entering Sungmin's life change this?
Request by
sneezessmiles , im so sorry if this took forever! this is the only thing that my tiny mind came up with >< (and sorry for d major changes :D - - atleast d necklace is still der?? ><)and i therefore conclude that i should stick with writing none-sense crack and smut, i fail at this big time ><
and ofcourse thank you sooooo much to
ailaling1017 for the beta!... atleast it's more "readable" now XD .. Thank u soo much!“Do you think Siwon would really love what I’m wearing? Isn’t it awkward? What if I look bad in it?” Donghae sputters as he eyes himself in the mirror, his heart becoming more tense as the realization of finally having a date with his long time crush sinks into him.
“Oh yeah I’m sure he’ll definitely back out once he saw you in that.” Sungmin, Donghae’s brother, replies – teasing the younger.
“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend.” Donghae playfully teases back.
“Oh as if. Those boys and girls? Whatever. They are just pains on the ass. I’m living perfectly fine by myself, thank you very much.”
“But Sungmin, seriously, why won’t you find someone whom you could settle with? You shouldn’t just exhaust yourself with managing this resort; you should get a life and enjoy yourself.” Mrs. Lee, Sungmin’s grandmother, asks as she seats by the balcony,enjoying watching her two angels.
“Well I enjoy working at the resort.”
“Sungmin dear, you know that’s not what I meant.”
“Really Halmoni, just because I don’t have a lover doesn’t mean my life would be incomplete.”
“But-“
“Halmoni!”
Sungmin’s grandmother gives a resigned sigh, knowing better than to pursue the issue further. Ever since he was young, Sungmin had already erased all possibilities of love in his life. He grew up witnessing his mother and father engage in constant fights, which eventually led to his father’s departure. He could vividly remember how her mother sobbed every night until that one fateful night when she realized that their father, her husband, had already left them for good. This brought too much pain to his mother’s heart that she ended up killing herself. The frail mind of Sungmin who was just 10 years old at the time had absorbed all of the pain and heartaches brought about by their family’s situation. He learned to despise the thought of love and this stuck with him even as he grew old. He didn’t believe in love, knowing that love was the one responsible for killing his mother. The reason why he and his brother Donghae had to grow up without their parents by their side.
Mrs. Lee knows that her grandsons were thankful that she was there to take care of them until Sungmin was already off age to handle the resort that their family had left them. Yet, she knows that deep inside, there’s still this loneliness and longing for the love only their parents could have had given them. The love they hadn’t had the chance to have.
“Halmoni, are you okay?” Sungmin taps the old woman’s shoulder gently.
Sungmin’s grandmother just smiled, she just knows that there’s still hope, somehow.
*
“Sungmin dear, come here.” Mrs. Lee calls Sungmin, coaxing the young man to sit by her side.
Sungmin obeys and slowly walks towards the old woman.
“I just want to show you something.” Mrs. Lee says as she scrambles over her box, beaming as she finds what she’s looking for. She then shows it to Sungmin, who looks at the item cautiously.
“What is this? A necklace?” Sungmin asks. “Isn’t this for a girl?” He adds as he scrutinizes the pearl pendant.
“It’s a love pearl. They say that if you wish for something with this necklace, it would come true.”
Sungmin hesitantly takes the necklace, eyeing the piece in his hands.
“Stories tell that there was once a couple of people who were brought together by fate. They were so in love, however, it was also fate that pushed them apart. The younger man was so depressed that he neglected his health. He then found this necklace and wished night and day to finally be with the man he loved. The younger man died in the end, but I’m sure he’s already happy wherever he is now, because his wish was finally granted.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Sungmin asks, confused at the sudden randomness.
“I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to lose hope. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world, it might bring you pain and heartaches, but I’m telling you, once you allow yourself to love, you’ll know how worth the pain is for the experience of that wonderful feeling.”
“I don’t know... I can’t…” Sungmin starts, giving the necklace back, but Mrs. Lee hushes him.
“Just give love a chance, and I assure you, you’ll never regret it.” She says as she gently pushes the pearl back into her grandchild’s hand. She didn’t let the younger protest as she abruptly stands up, leaving the younger in his own thoughts.
*
Sungmin stood up after a few minutes, his mind whirling with images from his childhood.
Love
He scoffed. For him, this word is nothing but imaginary. People just bring too much meaning on this certain feeling and deem it as love. They fall too much on this make-shift heaven, only to end up crashing in hell as their sunshine fades away, to be replaced by storms. That’s what love has always been – a pain.
Aside from his parents, he had friends, friends who were so in-love this minute, and crying in pain in the next. It had always been like that, so how can people make him believe that this thing called “love” actually exists?
Sungmin rolls his eyes, thinking why he was even wasting precious time on such meaningless thoughts. So, he stood up to leave the area but as he turns around, he suddenly bumps into a tall man, making the necklace fall from his hand.
*
Only the loud clang of the necklace as it reaches the floor could be heard as time seems to stop as the two figures looks at each other. They could feel the identical beating of their hearts as they stare at each other’s eyes, as if an invisible force is pulling them towards the other.
“Sungmin! Are you okay?!” Donghae comes rushing to his brother immediately after he saw what happened.
Sungmin suddenly wakes up from his reveries when he hears his name, his eyes immediately shooting up when he realizes he is straddling the other man’s body. He hastily stands up, bowing down to apologize.
“No, it’s okay. It’s my fault.” The man replies.
Sungmin blinks, his body shivering at the sweet melody of the other’s voice, his heart thumping in a way he had never felt before.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Donghae asks his brother worriedly.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Sungmin replies as he tries to calm the abnormal flips of his heart.
“This is yours, right?”
“W-what?” Sungmin splutters, looking up at the sound of the other’s voice.
“I mean, this is yours right?” The other man repeated.
“Oh y-yeah.”Sungmin replies sheepishly.
“Here, it’s beautiful. But I’m sure it would be more beautiful when you’re wearing it.”
Sungmin blushes a deep shade of red as the words repeat themselves in his mind.
“T-thank you.” He manages to reply as he reaches out his hand to the other man, stretching out his palms to receive the necklace. As their hands brush together, they could feel a light glowing from their hearts to the other, making them shiver at the strange feeling.
“And-“ The other man was about to say something but it was suddenly interrupted as his phone rings. “I’m sorry, I need to take this.” He adds and gives a sheepish grin as he looks at Sungmin and his phone, as if wanting to say something more. The voice of a famous male group Sungmin could remember his grandmother raving about blasted louder as the man’s phone keeps on ringing. The stranger, not wanting to disturb people, answers the call but immediately hangs up, mouthing something to Sungmin, eliciting a rare smile from his face. “See you around.”
When the other man said that, Sungmin didn’t really think that he’ll see the man evr again. Yes, their resort wasn’t that big, but it wasn’t small either. There’s still a huge percentage of chance that they won’t see each other. Nevertheless, fate had taken its course and they actually found themselves bumping, yet again, with each other. This time, in one of the nearby cafes:“Vitamina”, Sungmin’s favourite, which is inside their resort’s premises.
“Looks like were fated to bump into each other in such random moments, aren’t we?” The other man sheepishly chuckles as he sees the beauty that he is crossing path with yet again.
“Well, there’s no such thing as fate, either it’s just coincidence or both of us are just really careless people who should learn how to focus more so we won’t disturb other people.”
The man’s grin turned into a curious stare, not knowing how to react to the other’s words.
“But don’t you think it’s great that there’s such a thing that could bring two people together in such unexpected times and perhaps, bind the two without them knowing it, right?”
Sungmin snickers at this, amazed at the man’s dazed expression as he states his belief of fate with so much conviction.
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” The young boy looked at Sungmin, confused as to what he meant.
“Those people who let themselves be blinded by love. They’re so in love with the thought of having their own perfect little world where everything revolves around that illusion, but once the mischievous mask of love starts to peel up, showing it’s dark side, they’ll realize that love isn’t that perfect after all, but not before being crushed and killed by their own make-shift heaven called love.”
“Wow, why hold so much hatred over love? Did someone break your heart so badly that you can’t even believe in love anymore?”
“I never had a lover before, and I’m not open to having one.”
“How could you speak so freely about love as if you know it so well, when you haven’t even experienced it yet?”Kyuhyun asks in disbelief.
“I don’t need to experience it to know what it is. I see people around me being fooled by this. I’m not that crazy to actually follow their footsteps.”Sungmin reasons.
“You’re interesting.” The other man chuckles. Sungmin raises an eyebrow at the other man’s sudden reply.
“This makes me hungrier. Since we’re already here, want to eat together? Well I mean, I hope you don’t share the same sentiments you have about love in friendship?”
Sungmin chuckles at this, deeming the other guy as crazy. “Lee Sungmin.” He mutters as he stretches his hand out for a hand-shake but immediately drops it back down when the other man just replies with a huge grin, which he refuses to admit, affects him more than it should. “You’re crazy.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.” The other man, Kyuhyun,smiles as he introduces himself, lifting his hand this time, a huge grin still plastered on his face and Sungmin had to think twice as he felt a jolt on his skin as their hands meet for the hand-shake, afraid of what that spark entails.
But that fear was swiftly pushed to the bin as he finally started to get to know Kyuhyun. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because of the other man’s persistence, or the thing the younger calls “fate” that always brought them together; but Sungmin found himself growing closer to the younger man that he found a day incomplete without having a cup of coffee with him at their favourite spot by the window, sharing their ideas about the world, although sometimes – well most of the time – said ideas opposed each other. Sungmin didn’t really mind. He actually loved debating with the other up to the point that they’d roll into a fit of laughter with their craziness. He loved being with the man, growing up in their secluded town, he never really had the chance to acquaint himself with other people, but with Kyuhyun, everything just seemed to click. Another reason, Sungmin thinks, is their love for wine; he loves their occasional wine-tasting by the bay.
Tonight was one of those nights wherein Sungmin held a glass of wine in his hand as he sits by the sand, his gaze looking past the vast sea, the cool breeze keeping the serene atmosphere and enveloping them in a warm and comforting embrace.
“I just noticed, you’ve been wearing that pearl more lately.” Kyuhyun muttered, breaking the comfortable silence.
“What? Someone told me I look good with it.” Sungmin replied smugly.
“As far as I remember, it’s the necklace that I said was beautiful, not you.” Kyuhyun teased, earning a light kick from the older man, “Bastard!”
“What? Were you actually hoping that I was complimenting you? Oh Sungmin, don’t tell me you’re falling in love with me.”Kyuhyun teased.
“Fuck you, Cho!”Sungmin growled, this time kicking Kyuhyun harder, making sure that it hurt.
“I was just kidding!” Kyuhyun laughed hard. “What? Still haven’t changed your view of love?”
“Love and I are just two words that could never be together.” Sungmin replied, and he thought he saw a glint of disappointment in Kyuhyun’s eyes but he chose to ignore it as he continued to sip from the glass in his hand.
“Oh.”Kyuhyun replied, sadness evident in his voice that it crumpled Sungmin’s heart for reasons he cannot fathom. Yet, deep inside, he knew the reason but refuses to acknowledge it, mostly because of fear. He knows, he could feel it, the gentle look and touches the other gave him were a dead give-away on what the younger keeps inside of him and it scares Sungmin, he doesn’t want to break the younger man’s heart, he was too special, too special.
“You can’t.”
“What?” Kyuhyun asked confusedly, but as Sungmin repeated the words with unshed tears in his eyes, he knew what he completely meant. “I’m sorry, I really like you Kyuhyun, you need to stop this.”
“Then can you tell me how? How can you actually stop loving someone?”Kyuhyun chuckled, looking at the sea as he tried to stop his tears.
“Love is just something that a person creates in their mind; they grow attached to it, thinking it’s love when it’s just merely an emotion hyphened up by their imaginations.”
“Fuck Sungmin, can’t you stop this!?” Kyuhyun shouted, losing all his control as he gently pulled Sungmin to face him. “Do you think I just commanded my heart to feel this? I never told it to skip a beat when I met you! I never told it to beat so fast when I see you smile, laugh, talk...everything you do. It just acts like it! And moreover, I never told it to beat so hard to the point that it already escaped my chest to crawl to you, telling me that I don’t own it anymore, because my heart now belongs to you. So how can I command it when it already serves you as its owner?”Kyuhyun sighed as he looked deeply in Sungmin’s eyes. “I love you…. I’m deeply, madly in love with you Lee Sungmin.“ Kyuhyun whispered, the words flying towards Sungmin’s heart, and he shivered as he felt his heart actually welcoming the words, but the fear suddenly chose that moment to stomp forward and remind people of his existence, making Sungmin bolt up, immediately closing his heart before it fully accepted those feelings.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t.” Sungmin muttered before walking away, and he had to will his feet to continue walking as his steps faltered the moment he heard Kyuhyun break down into tears, the sound of the young man’s heart breaking into pieces overshadowing the thud as his very own heart broke as well.
*
It’s funny how fate seemed to attach their paths together when they weren’t asking for it, yet now that all Sungmin wished for was to see even a glimpse of the young man, hoping, wishing that he’s fine, it looked like fate wanted him to dwell on guilt as he can’t seem to find the man anywhere. Fate’s a bitch indeed! Then Sungmin had to pause, realizing that he just blamed something he doesn’t even believe in. Is it true? Is he really slowly caving in to love?
Sungmin sighed, erasing the thoughts. For now, all he really hoped for was to see Kyuhyun. Goodness! That man had really made him crazy! But still, he can’t help the loud beating of his heart. He just left Kyuhyun last night in such a devastated state and he can’t help but worry whether the young man managed to come home safely last night. Or if he had….Sungmin’s eyes shot-up as images of his childhood comes flashing in his mind that he found himself immediately running towards Kyuhyun’s room. Finding the door unlocked, he sprinted inside, not caring to knock. “Kyuhyun! Cho Kyuhyun!” Sungmin bolted towards the younger’s room but he wasn’t there, his heart starts to crumble with fear, his knees trembling, afraid that what he was thinking was true.
“Sungmin?”
Sungmin immediately turned around as he heard the voice he had been craving to hear all day. And he didn’t even care if he admitted that said voice melts his heart as he ran towards Kyuhyun, engulfing the tall man in a tight hug.
“Fuck, you made me worried! Where were you all day?!”Sungmin punched Kyuhyun who just smiled in response, touched that the other still cares for him.“Wait what’s that?” Sungmin broke the hug as he noticed Kyuhyun’s luggage neatly placed beside Kyuhyun’s bed, and then he looked at Kyuhyun and only noticed that the young man was dressed up, his bag placed above his bed.
“Are you...?”
“My flight is in two and a half hours.”
“Oh.”Sungmin replied, he could feel tiny needles slowly pinching his heart, making his whole body tremble. “So you’re not planning to say goodbye to me? I’m hurt.” Sungmin faked a laugh, but suddenly cut it as he saw Kyuhyun’s serious eyes looking straight at him. Who was he kidding really?
“This is for the better right? This is the only way that I could forget about you.”
Sungmin nodded his head, but he doesn’t know why his heart felt crumpled by the statement. Shouldn’t he be happy? This is what he wants right? Right? He asked himself, and it made his body tremble as the answer seems so bold and big screaming right at his face.
“Well, I’m sorry but I need to head at the airport if I don’t want to miss my flight.” Kyuhyun muttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence crawling to their skin. Sungmin didn’t utter a word so Kyuhyun took this as an answer that he really needed to go, so he picked up his luggage and his bag and was almost out of the door when he heard Sungmin shout his name, a tinge of hope glowing in him as he looked at Sungmin’s orbs which were looking at him, with as much intensity.
“I-“ Sungmin started but his throat seemed to block, words jumbling in his mind that he can’t grasp the right ones to say.
“I-“ Kyuhyun grew tense as he waited for Sungmin’s words, but all of his hopes suddenly died down like he was flying so close to heaven, only for his wings to be cut apart, making him fall way deep down. “Have a safe flight.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he nodded, what was he really expecting? So he headed towards the exit but this time, he turned around to say something before he walked away completely with Sungmin just looking at his retreating figure, and only when the man was completely gone did the words sink into him, making him fall on the ground, his tears that had been wanting to escape earlier, streaming down from his face like a rain shower.
“I’ll never regret falling in love with you. Even if it caused me all this heartaches, it was worth it Min. Because you were worth it … I just hoped that I was as well, to you.”
*
Sungmin smiled as he sees his brother sitting on the sand, face flaming as if ready to kill someone.
“What’s with that face?”
Donghae didn’t answer and just growled instead as he glared towards his front. Sungmin tilted his head to see who was the poor victim for the younger’s rage and he chuckled, sighing as he sat beside his brother.
“What did Siwon do that made him earn such anger from you?” Sungmin asked, referring to Donghae’s lover.
“Tsk just look at him! Who wouldn’t be mad at him!”
Sungmin looked and saw Siwon helping a girl who seemed “unable to stand” after “slipping”, and Siwon being the gentleman that he was, didn’t think twice before helping the girl who seemed to be enjoying the handsome man’s attention.
“Well he’s a lifeguard, it’s his job to help people.”
“Tsk! Can’t he see that those girls are flirting with him!”
“
Well if you can’t stand it, why don’t you just break up with him?” Donghae’s eyes shot up at this and gaped at his brother.
“Yah! I won’t breakup with him just because of that! I know he loves me, I believe in him.”
Sungmin sighed, not understanding how his brother thinks.
“Yes there are some fights, misunderstandings and whatnot, but those are parts of a relationship, hyung. Those hardships make the two of you stronger. Those are what make you realize how precious your love for each other is.” Donghae added and as if emphasizing the statement, Siwon looked at them and then stared at Donghae, giving him a smile, a smile Sungmin was certain was reserved only for his brother. Donghae smiled back at him, they were so at peace as they looked at each other.
“Donghae, what is love?”Sungmin suddenly asked.
“There are a million answers to that question, hyung. But I think it depends on how the person feels it. Just like me with Siwon, love is the feeling of security, the feeling of being so safe when you’re in his arms. The thought that everything would be okay because love is there. You? What do you feel when you think of love?”
“I… I think of early morning coffees with Kyuhyun.” Sungmin chuckled that the first thing that came to mind was him and Kyuhyun at the table by the window; he could still smell the sweet aroma of coffee making his mind relax. “I think of the way he talks, the way he laughs, the way he holds me…” Sungmin trailed off, choking as tears suddenly fell from his eyes as moments with Kyuhyun came flashing through his mind. “I screwed up, didn’t I?” Sungmin asked Donghae, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.
Donghae just hugged the older man who was now breaking down in tears, thinking how stupid he is for letting Kyuhyun go. But all he could do now is cry, laughing at his misery. He always thought that love was stupid because it only gave pain, but funny how he’s experiencing pain now when he didn’t even give a chance for love to blossom. And now, all he wished was another chance for love.
*
“Sungmin hurry up! Donghae’s waiting for us.” Mrs. Lee called her grandchild who was scrambling over his bag.
“I’m coming! Ugh, where is that!?” Sungmin growled as he rummaged through his things. He knew he just put it in here somewhere.
“There you are!” Sungmin sighed in relief, smiling like the sunshine as he eyed the necklace that he was looking for.
He immediately turned around to catchup with his grandmother when he bumped into a tall man.
And as if in de ja vu, he fell on the ground, he could feel the familiar loud beating of his heart like drums in a crazy beat. He slowly tilted his head up to see who he bumped into and his heart seemed to stop as their eyes locked with each other’s. His body trembled at that familiar sensation, making his heart glow.
The other man slowly stood up, offering a hand to Sungmin, who gladly took it.
“Looks like nothing has changed. We’re still two careless people who should learn how to focus more so we won’t disturb others.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he looked at Sungmin with a big smile on his face, making Sungmin’s heart melt.
“No.” Sungmin started, smiling as he grabbed Kyuhyun’s head to place a deep kiss on the younger’s lips, panting as they broke apart for much needed air. The time they spent away from each other made them realize how much the other meant to them. Sungmin smiled at Kyuhyun’s dazed expression before tugging the younger by the collar and bringing their lips together in another sweet kiss, but not before whispering the words he’d never thought he’d ever say. “It’s fate.”
intimidated43 Sweet Surrender | Surrender to Love ♥
